Hannah - your name means "grace". Anyone who knows you knows that you are NOT graceful as far as your movements go. You love to climb, jump, swing, balance, and occasionally fall. Had we known what a gymnast you would turn out to be we might have aptly named you "Pocahontas" which means "a playful, frolicsome little girl". I'm glad we weren't privy to that information because I actually quite like the name "Hannah" and it's actual meaning, "favored one". You love to read the story of Hannah in the Good Book. God looks on her with favor and grants her desire for a son. I pray that as you grow and learn more about our Lord you will also feel confident enough to ask Him for your desires and He will grant them, with favor.
When I think about the fact that you are almost 6 years old, it just about blows me away. I remember when I was 6. I loved to read a little book called "Danny and the Dinosaur"... YOU read it to ME last night! Really?! When, and how, did you learn to read? I'm amazed at the contents of your little mind. I'm even more amazed at the contents of your little heart. You care about people. You are always asking me to help you pray for your friends who are sick or sad at school. You take care of your brother and get concerned if he stays too long on the elevator and the doors begin to close. I pray that your heart will always be soft towards others and the God will use that to lead you to His suffering people.
My favorite time of day is when you are all tucked in your bed and we have our "talk time". I hate to admit it, but there are nights that all I want to do is get you in bed so I can begin my long to-do list. But it's nights like those, when I actually SKIP this "talk-time", that I remember with regret that you will never be this particular age again.... 5 years, 10 months and 3 days old.... I've missed one night of your precious life just so I can move on with mine.
Forgive me, my princess, for not taking every sweet moment to savor your innocence, to reach into your heart and plant seeds of righteousness and thirst for godliness, to listen to your words as you rattle off the concerns and joys of your day. It's during this time that I learn of friends who are sick, silly 5 yr old quarrels at school, and fears I never knew you had. It's during this time that you told me once that you were going to wait until you were 11 years old to let Jesus into your heart because that's what Mommy did....
Speaking of wanting to be like Mommy....oh, honey. If you only knew the depths of this dark heart, you wouldn't say it. Your mommy is not all that and a bag of chips. I hope you can see that. I hope you will see that I mess up. And that God forgives. I hope you will see that we do not have to be perfect to be loved. You told me that you wanted to be a "mommy" for our fall festival tomorrow night. I think it is wonderful that you like my job so much that you want to dress up as a "mommy". I guess that says something.... but I pray everyday that you will want to be more like Jesus. I pray everyday that I will be more like Jesus, so that as you look at me and strive to be like me, you will in turn be looking like Him.
I feel privileged to have been given a daughter. Especially as a first child. You hold a special place in my heart and in our family. I have so much to share with you as you grow older: things to teach you, things to tell you, things to try with you! We are the only ladies in this house. I hope as you grow up we can always be friends yet maintain that precious mother-daughter bond.
Some things I love about you: I love it when you first wake up and walk into the family room rubbing your eyes and asking me if it's time to get up yet; I love it when you come up with some great new fantastic creative idea and you try and try and try to get little Jacob to go along with it; I love it when you ask me to read with you; I love it when you purposely tickle me just for attention; I love it when you look around a crowded room trying to find me and then your worried face turns to pure joy when you finally find your target; I love it when I sneak into your room late at night, crawl into your bed, wrap my arms around you and you moan and move all around until you get all snuggly again and drift off to sleep. That is the time when I lay you before my Father and sing this song:
"Give her one pure and holy passion. Give her one magnificent obsession. Give her one glorious ambition for her life: to know and follow hard after You. To know and follow hard after You, to grow as a disciple in Your Truth. This world is empty, pale, and poor compared to knowing You, my Lord. So lead her on and she will run after You. Oh, lead her on and she will run after You.
You are precious, treasured and favored in my sight. I love you, my princess.
