You....

A few days ago I wrote a post about your sister. About a week or so ago I wrote one about your brother. Now it's your turn. The only problem is, I don't know anything about you. I didn't even know you existed until yesterday. As a matter of fact, you may have never existed in the first place had it not been for your daddy's wisdom and sensitivity to our Father's leading in his life. It didn't take long for my heart to open up to this idea and fully surrender to the possibility of you coming along. About 2 weeks later, there you were. And now, three tests later, we know about you.

At first I didn't tell your daddy :) I wasn't confident in the asian test I bought for about $0.45, especially since the line was so faint. I wanted to treasure this moment and ponder these things in my heart before I shared it with everyone else. My first response was complete shock! I've never gotten pregnant that fast, esp if we weren't exactly trying. Then I was overwhelmed with gratitude and humbled to my knees. It occurred to me that this was a blessing and a gift completely from Him. I immediately began to thank Him that His blessings and gifts do not depend on the status of our sinful hearts. They also don't depend on the actions of a righteous heart....We don't have to be "good" to have blessings, and blessings won't not be, just because we aren't "good". I think I am humbled so much by this gift of YOU, because I know the status of my own heart...

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love..."

...And if we are ALL honest, we would all admit that is the status of all of our hearts, at one time or another. And none of us deserve blessings of gifts, especially not the greatest gift of our Savior. That's why it's called grace....

Little one, right now the only evidence of your existence is three progressively darker lines on three different tests. However, I feel a few more evidences that others do not notice: My body is no longer my own! You have taken up residence and you are quickly making yourself comfortable. My head is spinning, my stomach is growling and queasy all at once, and I am oh.so.tired. This is the part of this whole experience I wasn't sure I wanted to do again. But now that I am here, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I know that what is happening in me is going to make you strong and able to survive on the outside. Then you can make your own evidence of your existence by putting your mark on this world.

There are so many things I do not know. I don't know if you will be a boy or a girl; I don't know if you will like to be swaddled; I don't know if you will wait a full 9 months before your appearance; I don't know where we will put you in this apartment!; and I don't know how long our Father will allow us to have you in our care. That may sound weird, but your daddy and I have always recognized that each little one He's given us is only for a time and for His glory. We know that we are being entrusted with your life and with your heart for the purpose of glorifying Him. We take that seriously, and are again humbled that He would choose us for such an important job.

So many people are learning about you for the first time from this blog post. It won't be long before everyone who loves us begins to love you. And it won't be long before we experience that ever-amazing miracle of a parent's love being extended to yet another little blessing. As a matter of fact, I think it's starting already.

Sweet baby, I don't know much about you, but I know that you are being created for a purpose and for His glory. I know that He already knows you. I know that He already has plans for you. And that's enough for me.

"You knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be."